so i started seeing a therapist which is fine, i'll prob keep doing that. but i went to the nutritionist and was painfully honest with her. she told me basically what i've known but have never been actually told that my body is in starvation mode and therefore any time i eat or go through days of binging my body holds on and stores everthing as fat. great job katie. so for those times when i do so well restricting (i was successful in restricting for months in a row up to my state pageant this past summer) and then i go back to eating (hello august-now) thats why i gain so much and that's why it's so hard to take off.
i also think the fact that i'm single is a major reason why i'm having such a hard time not binging at night. becuase when i was in a relationship (for my first 2 1/2 years of college) i'd come home to dave at the end of the day and hang out with him all night....and then after we broke up i was too sad to eat and then too set on being in good shape for my pageant that i would eat very little ever. once my pageant ended and i "allowed" myself to eat again i come home at night and binge. if i dont eat when i get home i feel bored. how disgusting is that?
anyway, the nutritionist was so nice and very concerned and basically made me want to at least try losing weight a healthy way. i figure i'm not happy the way i am now and the things she was saying made sense, maybe i should give it a shot. my goal with her is to lose 8-10 pounds and she seemed ok with that actually even considering my ED tendencies. I said to her ok realistically how long will it take for me to lose 10 pounds? she said a few months!!!!!!!! I was like ok....i cant do this. i cant wait this long. I thought it was healthy to lose like 2 poudns a week! She said that was for people who were actually over weight and I am not.
So my question to all of you is this...if I follow the diet she gave me, which consists of 1200 calories, do you think i'll actually lose weight?
my senior showcase, which is basically a huge audition for everyone in the industry, is january 13, 14, 15...i NEED to be thin by then.
I'm thinking of maybe trying to follow her diet starting tomorrow (14th) until when I get back to NYC (jan 2nd) and if I need to heavily restrict then I will.
If I do that do you think I can be where I want to be?
Or do you think I won't be close...
I'm not stepping on the scale today but basically from tomorrow to January 13th I need to lose 10 pounds.
PLEASE HELP. if you have any idea, any personal experiene/insight, whatever...it's all appreciated.
obviously someone with an eating disorder can't just "indulge" i INDULGED. as in massive binge for a week straight.
i didnt think it would do that much damage but believe it or not my small 5'4 frame gained 8 pounds in one week.
literally. in exactly one week i went from 114.4 to 122.6.
is that even possible? to gain 8 pounds in one week?!?!? i keep telling myself there's no way its actual weight...it must be water weight, bloated, foods still in system.....
it took me almost 2 months to lose 10 pounds. and i gain 8 in one week.
i would love some advice, insight, words of wisdom, ANYTHING. because i look disgusting, i dont fit into my clothes right, i feel awful.......its just sad. and i have no one to blame except for myself.
x-posted to a couple diff communities
please help! xoxo
So ive decided that im not letting myself come back on here until i have succesfully completed my 6 day smoothie fast. No food until sunday i shall only drink fruit smoothie and that shall be minimal. I am such a disgrace to my fat self :( I need to change and from this moment on, there shall be no food until sunday.
I can do this
I need to do this
Im fat and ugly and disgusting.
Just needed to vant at myself, sorry
Good luck girliess
I just joined this group so I decided to write out a little introduction.
My names Kwan and I'm 17. I've been struggling with my eating since I was about 13 years old. My weight has gone from very low to quite high during these years. Now I have kind of excepted that whether I like it or not this is part of me. My eating is what makes me me.
I'm quite happy because this week I've lost 2kg! I've done that by eating small amounts of plain rice everytime I get hungry. Its working and I feel good. I'm hoping to loose another 2kg by this coming Monday.
Good luck to everyone!
weight. i am unable to eat at this time. there is too much upset going on & im not able to force myself to eat. weigh in saturday, lookin fwd!!
So what is the dealio? Is it this holiday weekend? The smell of cookouts in the neighborhood? The promise of food and a three day weekend? Why, Why Why the fucking hell am I craving a hamburger? And Fries! And Cake! And of course, a huge fucking margarita! But seriously...how do you fight a craving like that? I want a burger-a greasy one (on a bun this time-and not a wheat one, damn it!), with everything on it...I want the grease and mayo to soak the bun. I want it to drip in my lap. I want tomatoes and onions and pickles-maybe even some of that special sauce-right now i don't give a fuck! I want fries with it. Not the crinkle cut french fries that taste freezer burnt-i want McDonalds fries-SUPERSIZED. I want a big piece of cake-birthday cake-covered in that makes-you-sick-to-your-stomach-it's-so-r
[[ and I am sooo NOT pregnant ]]
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